


Adequacy

by Myst_Marshall



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Healing, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29052525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myst_Marshall/pseuds/Myst_Marshall
Summary: There was nowhere to run. There was nowhere to hide. No matter where he went, his failures stared right back at him. Devastated by the loss of his students, Minato wonders if he’s fit to become Hokage.“You are not defined by your failures. It’s what you do in spite of those failures that defines you.”One shot!
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Adequacy

For two hours, Minato mourned. Off to his left, Kakashi laid on his right side, still unconscious from the entire ordeal. Despite his exhaustion, his body was restless, shifting every few minutes like he was trying to position himself comfortably. 

There was no comfortable position. Not while the incident remained fresh on Kakashi’s mind, plaguing him even in his slumber. 

Minato wished that there was something he could do. There wasn’t. Even though Minato forced himself to not look at Kakashi, that didn’t stop the guilt clawing at his heart. 

A little ways away from him, Rin was curled up in a ball. Her pained sobs filled the silence. From his position on the rock, Minato couldn’t see her face, but he could still picture her tear-stained cheeks with vivid clarity. The tears flowed in the first hour; the cries eventually replaced by small hiccups, and the flow slowed until it was a mere trickle. 

But that had been her own doing, a product of her own strength. While Minato’s heart longed to comfort the weeping girl, the words remained lodged in his throat. In the end, Minato had chosen to swallow those words and look away, allowing his student to grieve in peace. 

For the majority of those two hours, his cerulean eyes were fixated on a particular spot in the distance. And he mourned, his mind flashing through all of his memories of Obito. It worked for a while, as Minato repeatedly told himself that Obito would want everyone to remember the best side of him. The kid with ambitions of becoming Hokage. The kid with a kind heart. The kid that put a smile on everyone’s face. 

Minato’s smile waned as when reality crept along the edges of those memories, the notion that Obito was really gone finally settled in. Try as he might to latch on to them, these memories hardly represented a fraction of who Obito was. 

And this was where his story ended, riddled with regrets and unfulfillment. Everyone knew that there was a risk of becoming a shinobi, of embarking on these missions, but the full weight of the reality of it didn’t fully set in until it happened. By then, it was too late. 

Far, far too late just like he had been to arrive to save his student. 

This was war. Life was cruel. Deaths were inevitable. The rational part of his mind would argue all of these things, but when it came to someone precious to him, all rationality exited his mind. His mourning thoughts were quickly overtaken by guilt. The regrets. The numerous “what ifs” that were slowly driving him insane. 

Different possibilities, different outcomes flashed through his mind, but in the end, it all circled back to reality: Obito was still dead. And as powerful of a shinobi as he was, Minato was still no match with fate. 

Before Minato could be consumed by the darkness that flitted in his mind, Kakashi stirred. All of his thoughts dispersed as he placed his undivided attention on his student. Though he would never admit it out loud, Minato was grateful for the distraction. He desperately needed it.

Kakashi gasped as he sat upright. His panicked eyes scanned the area, falling onto him, before he swept the rest of the clearing. “Is Rin-?” 

Knowing that Kakashi’s mind was about to spiral down the same path of darkness just as his own mind did, Minato quickly intervened. “Rin’s fine.” His finger pointed in her general direction. Kakashi’s eyes followed. 

The relief was instantaneous; stress, worry, and fear leaked out of his student like a balloon releasing air. 

“And Obito-?” Kakashi choked up at the mention of his teammate’s name. 

Minato shook his head sadly, answering Kakashi’s unspoken question. How he wished he could deliver a better answer, but he knew that telling him anything but the hard truth would resort in them becoming too wrapped up in their delusions and misguided hopes to finish their mission. 

Their mission. That word left a horrible taste in his mouth. If not for the time Kakashi spent recovering, there wouldn’t have been any time to mourn. On the battlefield, they were shinobis first, and humans second. 

Times like this made Minato thoroughly disgusted with himself. 

His mouth parted, the damned word ready to slip from his lips, but Kakashi rose. His student had only given himself a moment of vulnerability before it was quickly veiled by forced apathy. And Minato found himself staring at the old Kakashi again, the one who embodied all the ideals of a picture perfect shinobi. 

Only the multitude of swirling emotions in his lone dark eye betrayed that image. 

The damned word slipped Kakashi’s mouth. “Our mission is still on, isn’t it?” 

Minato nodded. Unwilling, relief flooded him and Minato hated himself for it. A coward, he would call himself, for allowing his student to shoulder the burden. For feeling relieved that he didn’t have to. 

There was a sinking feeling in his stomach as Minato watched Kakashi mechanically pack his things, folding his blanket into a neat little square before stuffing it into his backpack. Without a word, Kakashi zipped up his bag and swung it on his shoulder. 

When Minato saw Kakashi head towards Rin, he knew that he was going to inform her that it was time to get moving. His hand reached out, as if he wanted to grab him, but fell short. His words failed him too, stuck in the back of his throat. 

Kakashi tapped Rin on her shoulder, signalling to her that it was time to get moving. Although Rin was a considerable distance away from him, Minato didn’t miss the way she ducked her head to the side to wipe away the remnants of her tear stained cheek before turning back to Kakashi to give him a forced okay. 

The solemn atmosphere weighed down on them. Kakashi took the lead, sheer resilience pushing him to put one foot in front of the other. Rin took up the middle of the formation. Out of politeness, Minato looked off to the side when he spotted teardrops trickling on her jawline. 

At least that was what he told himself. He just didn’t want to admit that seeing her cry brought him close to tears too. 

Minato was the last in their formation, taking on the rear position. The position that was usually given to one of the more experienced shinobis since the likelihood of ambushes occurring from behind were exceedingly high. The shinobi needed to be fully attentive, yet Minato’s focus wavered, unable to fully concentrate on his surroundings. Instead, his attention kept wandering back to his students, to Obito. 

They were in the middle of a war zone. Rule twenty-five in the shinobi handbook stated that shinobis shouldn’t show any emotions. Even though he lost one, there were two more students he needed to protect. All of those reasons above were more than enough for Minato to shut out his grieving emotions and put forth his full focus on the mission at hand. 

But he couldn’t do it. 

The loss of his student broke him in more ways than he would ever care to admit. On the surface, he appeared to be the famed Yellow Flash, the one who single-handed killed a thousand Iwa shinobis, but on the inside, he was crumbling. 

Breaking, and Minato didn’t know how to pick up the pieces. 

Kakashi and Rin were the ones to plaster paper bombs all along the walkway of the bridge and the columns. Minato could have joined in - should have joined in - but the mere thought of participating in the “mission” made his hands tremble. 

Once again, he was a coward, leaving his students to perform the dirty work while he pretended to be on guard. But he wasn’t really on guard, not when his mind continued to plague him with the thought of Obito’s absence. It wouldn’t give him a break, constantly bringing the vacancy to the forefront of his attention. 

Perhaps, it was his way of reminding himself of how much he failed them. Failed Obito. 

When Kakashi and Rin finished planting paper bombs, they retreated back to Minato’s side. All three of them stared at the bridge solemnly, each of them wordlessly paying their respects to the sacrifices that were made to get to this point. 

“For Obito,” Kakashi whispered, before he activated the paper bombs. 

The clarity of the image of the bridge being blown into pieces forever burned in his mind. The resonance of each blast rang in his ears. The heat prickling at his skin. The smell of smoke filling his lungs. 

Such a beautiful and significant moment. 

Hauntingly beautiful.

* * *

Pitiful. That was how his comrades saw him when they finally arrived at the desolate clearing. The bodies of the dead Mist ninjas were scattered about, but upon arrival, Minato’s attention was immediately drawn to the center of it all. 

Rin lying in a pool of blood, with a massive hole through her chest. Kakashi laid face down next to her. 

His team members glanced at the teens before eyeing him, shooting him sympathetic smiles. Minato couldn’t even bring himself to force a reassuring smile; instead, he ignored everything around him. Choza held out an arm in front of him, blocking his path to his students. Making eye contact with him, Choza shook his head, motioning that he would be the one to check on his students. 

Minato brushed him aside, continuing to walk towards them. With Obito’s death, he had been a coward. He still was, but the least he could do for his students was to make the call proclaiming their status. 

He was always too late. Always couldn’t be there when they needed him. A sensei, a protector of the next generation, had merely been reduced to aftermath cleanup. To body hauler back to Konoha. To speech giver at funerals. 

Rin was dead; everyone could see that from a mile away but Minato felt the stupid need to check her pulse. Hands trembling as he lowered his fingers to the pulse at the base of her neck, Minato blinked away the tears that had begun to cloud his vision. 

Clammy. Cold. Still. 

Lifeless. 

Dead. 

Gone. 

Fat, warm tears streamed down his cheeks. 

And they wouldn’t stop. Perhaps this was the moment that he made up for the tears unshed for Obito because he couldn’t hold it in anymore. With him, the dam cracked. With her, the walls crumbled, allowing the flood to break through. 

Minato didn’t want to imagine what would happen if he knew that Kakashi was dead too. So he stalled. While the rest of his teammates were scattered around the area to check if there were any survivors, Minato remained crouched by Rin’s side, staring blankly in the distance. The outlines of the trees were blurry, and so was Choza’s frame, but Minato immediately registered his presence as he moved to step closer to Kakashi. 

Once more, Minato warned him away. Choza was trying to be helpful, by offering to shoulder that burden, but Minato couldn’t let go. He desperately grasped at the straws, knowing that it was possibly the only thing keeping him from having a complete breakdown in the middle of enemy territory. Yet the turmoil raging inside of him was indescribable. 

His mind pushed him to check up on Kakashi. His heart held him back from doing so. Both ends clashed with equal fervor, resulting in a standstill. 

Until his peripheral vision registered movement. In a flash, Minato was right by Kakashi’s side, flipping him over. His fingers pressed against the base of his neck. 

A small thump followed by another. Minato was torn between crying out of relief and still crying out of agony for his other two students, so the combination came out to be a mixture of a choked sob to express his happiness and another wave of tears. 

And then at the possibility that Kakashi was heavily injured and Minato had wasted time wallowing in his own regrets sent chills down his spine. He tried to look over his student, but with his clouded vision, Minato couldn’t be certain whether or not he sustained any injuries. 

Gently lifting Kakashi up in his arms, Minato made eye contact with Choza. Seeing Choza’s firm nod, Minato felt assured to leave Rin in his hands. 

Assured but still plagued with guilt that he once again had to leave another student behind as he used his Hiraishin in a few short sprints to Konoha’s gates. As much as he hated himself for it, Minato reasoned that he should focus on the student that was still alive. 

That was what Rin would have wanted him to do, right? 

And then he broke all over again when he realized that she wasn’t here to give him an answer.

* * *

Minato absolutely despised funeral speeches. The kind where someone was forced to share happy memories of the fallen when everyone was anything but happy. Oftentimes, the speeches fell flat, apathetic as a result of the speaker trying to fight off the inner sadness while attempting to keep a smile on their faces. 

He managed to avoid the responsibility for Obito’s funeral, mainly because he was honored along with all of the fallen shinobis during the war. The Uchiha clan representative said a couple words, completely generic and unfitting of Obito’s vibrant personality. At that time, Minato felt the compulsive need to rectify that, even took a step towards the stage before his rational side took over. 

He stayed quiet, honoring his student silently. 

This time, the role had been given to him as Rin had no close family members. And Minato hated that he had to be the one to do it, but if it was the last thing he could do for her, then damned he would. 

The words were supposed to come from the heart, but many nights before the day of her funeral, Minato spent hunched over his desk. With only a dim desk light to illuminate his surroundings, Minato scribbled. And scratched the words out. And crumpled the papers to toss into the overflowing waste bin. 

The act continued. 

Lowering the pen to paper once more, desperately trying to reign in his shaking hands, Minato had gotten as far as writing the first sentence before his grip loosened. The pen clattered noisily against his desk. 

_Rin is the kindest and sweetest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing._

And I let her down, Minato grimly tacked on his mind. Scooping up the paper, Minato balled it up before tossing it onto the floor next to him, the failed attempt joining the dozens of others. 

Words weren’t enough to capture her radiating personality. Apologies weren’t enough to subside his regret and guilt. Nothing he could ever do would be enough to bring her back. 

Minato hated himself for it. And it was clear that Kakashi did too, when Minato was in front of the crowd, saying words that were not his own, and his student could not meet his eyes. 

He felt like a failure.

* * *

“Hokage sama, you wanted to see me?” 

“Ah yes Minato. There’s something that we need to discuss.” 

Minato interjected before Hiruzen could get any further; he knew exactly what this was about. The old him might have felt ashamed that the Hokage was scolding him like he was still a child, but the current him couldn’t feel anything other than remorse. 

“I know that you want me to get back to my jonin duties,” Minato began. It had been a month since; the hole still felt too raw, too real for him to resume his jonin duties. A and S ranked missions piled up due to the shortage of jonins in the aftermath of the war. It didn’t help that Minato continually turned them down each time he was assigned...the last time he was assigned to an A and S ranked mission, he lost one student after another. 

This couldn’t go on forever. He was well aware of the fact too, but the selfish part of him wanted to pretend that he could. He would take as much time as he could get, yet time was running out. 

He had to face his demons eventually. 

“As much as I want to be able to say that I will accept the next mission you give me, I would be lying to you and to myself,” Minato confessed. “Give me one more week and I’ll be back on my feet. I promise.” 

He hoped it wouldn’t be another one of his broken promises. 

Hiruzen cleared his throat. “I’m thinking about assigning you elsewhere.” 

Minato froze. “Are you giving me another genin team?” Well aware that this year’s graduation date was coming up, fear and anxiety began to crawl through him. 

“No,” Minato breathed out, shaking his head rapidly. “I really can’t. You can’t do this to me. I’m not ready. I can’t fail them again. I-” Lightheadedness washed through him as he felt himself on the cusp of hyperventilating. 

“Breathe, Minato.” 

Minato did as Hiruzen instructed, taking slowly, deliberate breaths before releasing it. Relief and calmness returned to him after repeating the action. 

Hiruzen knew better than to mention the subject again. 

“I’m retiring,” Hiruzen told him. Maybe if his thoughts and emotions weren’t so jumbled at the moment, Minato would have caught on to what he was implying. He could only stare at him blankly as he waited for Hiruzen to continue. “The council and I have already spoken. I want to pick you as my successor.” 

Minato blinked twice. “Me? As Hokage?” His stupor only lasted a brief moment before his instincts kicked in. “No, no. I can’t be Hokage.” 

“That’s not true. Out of all the people in the village right now, the council has agreed that you are most fitting to take the position. Your performance during the war has shown us that you are more than ready to take on this position of leadership, even if you are still young.” 

Performance during the war? Did he mean the part where he ruthlessly killed thousands of Iwa shinobis simply because they happened to be his enemy? Or the part where he let two of his students die? 

“No,” Minato repeated. Hiruzen was saying something to him, but he was hardly listening at that point. “No. No. No. I already let them die. If I become Hokage, then everyone will _die_.” 

And then Minato bolted. Rudeness was the last thing on his mind as he fled to the cemetery, the only place that he could find solace these days. Only to see that Kakashi had already beaten him there, currently kneeling at Rin’s headstone as he pulled the weeds surrounding it. 

Minato ran again; this time to the memorial stone. He’d finally gathered the courage to face his dead students...but facing his alive one was simply too much. The accusatory stare, the solemn silence, the feeling of knowing that he had failed him was all too much to bear. 

“What right do I have to become Hokage if I can’t even protect my own students?” Minato chuckled mirthlessly. “You’re probably screaming at me, aren’t you Obito? Calling me a stupid sensei for passing up on my dreams.” 

_Our dreams._

“It’s ridiculous that I lectured you for being late, but it turns out that I’m the one who’s late for the things that count. Kami, imagine if I was the Hokage. Everyone would be dead. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m the one here instead of you. You should be the one to have a chance to accomplish your dreams, not me.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

That night, he dreamed of falling boulders, his mind vividly zeroing in on how his fingers were just shy of grasping Obito’s. 

Late. That word played in his mind like a broken record until he finally had the courage to open his eyes. Only to find that when he closed them again, the scene would repeat. 

He was a coward. His eyes didn’t close for the rest of the night. 

If Kushina heard his whimpers, she didn’t mention it the next morning.

* * *

“What are you doing?” Kushina demanded. Without bothering to take off her shoes, she stomped towards him, both hands resting on her hips. Minato glanced up from his book. 

“I’m reading, why?” Minato responded, with a hint of hesitation in his voice. He suspected that Kushina didn’t mean that question literally, but his mind was drawing a blank as to what she was referring to. 

Fury flashed through her eyes. “What is wrong with you? I heard rumors that you turned down the Hokage position.” 

“I did. I don’t think-”

Kushina waved off his response, not even bothering to allow him to finish explaining. “Nevermind the fact that you turned down your dream, one that you’ve been harping on and on as a kid, but what the hell are you doing? I know you are upset, that you feel guilty, and I tried to give you space, but hasn’t it gone on long enough? You’re an adult for Kami’s sakes! What about Kakashi?” 

At the mention of his student’s name, his heart sank. 

“I saw him at a bookstore today,” Kushina went on to explain, the volume of her voice lowering. “You know what I saw him reading?” 

“What?” Minato choked on the word. 

“How a Shinobi Should Die,” Kushina whispered. “Your student is hurting, Minato. As much as I want to be there for him, I know that I can’t. Only you can. And I know that you’re hurting too and I’m sorry that I lost my temper with you earlier, but this can’t go on any longer. It isn’t healthy. At this rate, both of you won’t recover.” 

“Recover?” Minato repeated, saying the word like it was foreign to him. “Is that even possible?” 

Kushina sank down on the couch next to him, wrapping her arms tightly around her torso. Minato pulled her closer, holding onto her like she was his lifeline. 

“You’re talking to a girl who lost her entire clan,” Kushina stated. “It hurts. At some point, you become convinced that time won’t heal all wounds. Once you get out of the toxic mindset of self-blame and wallowing, you’ll begin to see that there’s still people around you that support you. Need you. Want to see you happy again. Eventually you’ll have to learn how to live for yourself again.” 

“I’m a horrible sensei, aren’t I?” 

Kushina shook her head. “Just a grieving one. It’s not too late to reach out to him, ya know. He won’t ever say it, but he really needs you right now.” 

Minato wished he realized sooner.

* * *

Neither of them spoke. It had taken Minato a great deal of courage to walk up to Kakashi, and to stand there next to him while they both spoke to Obito silently. Yet instead of paying his respects, thoughts of what Kakashi was thinking plagued his mind. Based on his body language, it didn’t seem like Kakashi didn’t want him there. And Kakashi didn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave either; they’d already been there for an hour. 

But he hardly even spared him a glance and that made him question Kakashi’s reception to his presence all over again. 

By the third hour, Minato was no closer to figuring out what Kakashi was thinking and he was already leaving. This was the point when Minato should have said something, but the words were lodged in the back of his throat as he watched his student walk away. 

“I come here everyday at six,” was all Kakashi said before he teleported out of his line of sight. Hardly able to wrap his mind around the fact that Kakashi had willingly spoken to him for the first time since Rin’s death, it took Minato even longer to realize the implications of his words. 

When he finally did, his lips curled up into a small smile. It was his way of offering an olive branch, and damned if Minato wouldn’t take it. 

Day after day, Minato showed up promptly at the memorial stone. At times, he could only stay a measly fifteen minutes, but even then, Minato was determined to be there for the sake of both of his students. 

Most days, they didn’t even exchange a single word. Greetings and farewells weren’t their thing and there was nothing that they wanted to say to each other that could be expressed verbally. The only evidence that either of them had been there at all was the faint trail of their chakra signature they left behind. 

They had fallen into that routine. Neither said a word about what the other was doing outside of the time spent at the memorial stone. Minato was sure that Kakashi had heard the news that he was taking up A and S ranked missions again and likewise, he heard that Kakashi had joined the Anbu. Although he didn’t think such an organization was suitable for someone like him, Minato kept his mouth shut. 

What right did he have to dictate his life anymore? Team Minato had officially disbanded. The most that Minato could be was a comrade suffering along with him. Maybe Minato wasn’t content with that, but he really didn’t know what he wanted anymore. 

For now, this arrangement would have to do. At least until Minato found his voice again. 

It was Kakashi who disrupted their routine. 

“Are you really going to give it up?” Kakashi had spoken so softly that Minato almost missed it. Part of him was still convinced that he was imagining things. 

“Give what up?” 

Kakashi shrugged. “Your dream.” 

To become Hokage was certainly what Kakashi was referring to. Two months had already passed since he rejected the position and since Kakashi didn’t bring it up the first time they met, Minato figured that he would never. 

“I don’t know if that’s my dream anymore.” A lot of consideration had gone into finding out the answer to that question. In the end, Minato still didn’t have an answer. At this point, he was just dawdling his feet, waiting until something happened to make his decision for him. 

Like Hiruzen appointing someone else. 

“It is. You just don’t want to admit it,” Kakashi said. “The fact that you can’t make up your mind is a testament to that. By admitting it, you’ll think that you’re selfish by indulging in your desires when others, like Obito, aren't alive to get that chance.” 

When had Kakashi grown up to be so wise? 

“Obito would have wanted you to become Hokage, regardless of what happened.” 

Minato shook his head sadly. “He’s not here to tell me that.” 

“He doesn’t have to tell you. You just know.” 

“Do I?” 

Kakashi tapped the metal plating of his hitai-ate, where his left eye rested. “I promised that I would see the future for Obito, remember? Somewhere in these memories, he would have definitely wanted to see you take the hat.” 

Minato’s features softened. “I just can’t. I failed all three of you. I can’t fail the village too.” 

“You didn’t fail us,” was Kakashi’s response. He wasn’t looking at him. “I was the one that failed them. I was there and the team captain. You had other obligations at the time.” 

“Kakashi, you shouldn’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.”

Kakashi shot him an exasperated look. “Why don’t listen to your own words?” 

Minato fell silent, knowing that he was right. 

“It took me a while to come to terms with that too,” Kakashi confessed quietly. “I felt so much like a failure. Like I failed them and that there was nothing that I could do to make up for it.” 

Here, Minato felt it: the compulsive urge to open his mouth and convince Kakashi that he wasn’t a failure much like Hiruzen and Kushina had tried to do to him. How hypocritical of him, but when it came to his students, he only wanted to see them happy. 

“But I think I realize something now.” 

Minato indulged him. “What did you realize?” 

“You are not defined by your failures. It is what you do in spite of those failures that defines you. So as long as we continue to live like this, we’re allowing our failures to take hostage of our life, and potentially preventing us from doing something more.

“I’ve already decided. I’m never letting another comrade die. No matter what it takes.” 

Those words were imprinted in the forefront of his mind. While Minato couldn’t deny that Kakashi was right, his irrational side prevented him from accepting that just yet. Instead he internally warred with himself for the better part of the week and probably would have continued on longer if not for Hiruzen calling him into his office. 

“You have a mission?” Minato was ready to accept any mission, the words were already at the tip of his tongue before Hiruzen even introduced the mission. So when Hiruzen asked him for the second time whether or not he wanted to be Hokage, Minato almost found himself saying yes before he realized what Hiruzen had just said. 

“Hokage?” 

Hiruzen nodded. “I see that you’re in better spirits. I’m assuming that you’ve had plenty of time to think over it.” 

He did, but all of his answers leaned towards no, until his talk with Kakashi. Now he was back to square one, without a concrete resolve in either direction. 

“You didn’t consider anyone else?” Deflection was his current tactic. 

“There’s no candidate better than you.” 

Minato’s eyebrow raised. “Really? What about-” And then proceeded to list off the names of the jonins in the village that he greatly admired, including his sensei. Each and every one of them, Hiruzen shot down with his own counterpoint. The most common answer was that the person in question didn’t have any desire to become Hokage. 

“I don’t know if I do either.” 

“I can see the Will of Fire burning brightly inside of you. Perhaps it has been dimmed because of recent events, but I am confident with the right purpose, you can ignite it once more.” 

That was when Minato knew that he would say yes to that too. Yet he held himself back a little bit, out of fear that he would regret it if he acted too hastily. 

He didn’t. A week later, his answer was still the same. Two weeks, nothing changed. Everyday he went home, Kushina would always give him that look, cocking her head to the side as if to ask what he was waiting for. 

Truth to be told, he didn’t know either. 

Every time he saw Hiruzen after their second conversation, the acceptance threatened to spill out, but something held him back. 

It was Kakashi who made him realize what he needed. 

Kakashi pushed him forward, causing him to take two small steps towards the memorial stone. “Talk to him.” 

“He’s not going to answer-”

“He will,” Kakashi insisted. “I do it all the time. Most of the time he doesn’t, but when I really expect an answer, he does.” 

“I-” 

Kakashi’s only response was to shove him forward once more before disappearing in a swirl of leaves. Minato was still skeptical, but since he was already here, it couldn’t hurt. 

Right? 

Closing his eyes, Minato began to talk to him. Once the first word left his mouth, the rest of the words flowed, seemingly falling into line like a stack of dominos falling over. And he talked and talked until he finally reached the burning question. 

“Do you think I can protect the village? As Hokage?” 

Nothing happened. Although he felt infinitely better unloading all of his feelings, Minato made a mental note to confront Kakashi about this next time. Of course, there was no answer. He didn’t know what possessed him to listen to his student in the first place. 

Just when Minato was about to write it off, he felt a faint breeze sweep by him. 

_Yes,_ he could practically hear the leaves whisper. Maybe it had just been a figment of his imagination, but for once, Minato wanted to believe. 

“Are you sure?” 

The same thing happened again. 

Minato had gotten an answer. An answer that made him feel infinitely more confident that he was making the right decision. 

What a decision it turned out to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this story! We all know about Kakashi's reaction to his teammates' death, but I always wondered about Minato's since canon didn't really touch on it. And here's my interpretation of it. Let me know if it was similar to what you thought or not! Looking forward to hearing everyone's head canons on the event. :) 
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> -MM


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